Strange Feeling...

Today I have felt loneliness and sadness for the first time in a while. I know with everything that we are facing it was bound to rear it's ugly head again but here we go. He has been quiet since we've been home with not much to say and I can only hope that he is just wanting to rest and that it has nothing to do with me. As a matter of fact I am sure it doesn't it just feels like it does...I try not to hover, stay in his face because that only upsets him and makes him stay quiet longer. I miss having friends nearby...real friends, the ones that I just went to their house and watched TV and never had to say a word. The one that knew something was on your mind with ever having to say what it is. That unspoken friendship, it's a beautiful thing really something that I never took for granted but now that it is not there makes me want and need it so much. I try to stay positive about all of the things around but sometimes that gets rough too. He said to me not too long ago that I have to stay positive because it helps him through...what am I suppose to do or say about that? I'm breaking on the inside with nowhere to go with it and I can only hope that I don't have a nervous breakdown. I want to cry sometimes but instead I pray, that is the only thing working for me and it is the only thing that will. Thank you  God for carrying me at all times, not just when I down, thank you...